What is a “safe psyche” …first of all, what is a “psyche”? Most definitions of psyche point to soul or spirit. This is because the origins of the word are Greek, and do indeed translate, in English, to “soul or spirit” (well, actually life, but a detailed definition would point to a description of soul.) [...]
This month I am going to talk a little bit about another one of John Gottman’s “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” contempt. Gottman says: “contempt is fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts about one’s partner, and it arises in the form of an attack on someone’s sense of self.” He goes on to say: “contempt as [...]
Although it may seem like a fantasy, criticizing your partner in just about any context, weakens an intimate bond that is essential to a healthy relationship. This, like nearly every axiom or “hard as stone” dictum, has important exceptions. First, let me define “criticize” from the context of this article. Few people will balk at [...]
How often have you heard this phrase in the past couple of months? “The New Normal.” What does that mean? It seems to mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. I have heard it to define a new spiritual awakening, where the world population wakes up to a new awareness [...]
Right before the new year came upon us, a friend of mine proclaimed he was making no New Year’s resolutions. He had decided that over the years he seldom kept any of them up for any decent amount of time therefore there wasn’t much point making them.
There is a lot of confusion these days regarding the meaning of the word empathy and how empathy can be demonstrated in a relationship. Oftentimes we hear of a comparison between empathy and sympathy, which regards the latter as a less heartfelt response to a situation or to a partner’s feelings. I am not quite [...]
Think of all the ways that dogs live as part of our lives. Our first thought might be the various dogs we have had as pets, or the dogs that family and friends have had with whom we have interacted. Then there are working dogs. These can be guard dogs, farm dogs who herd livestock [...]
I just had the opportunity to see another stage production of Les Miserablés, I have seen it several times in the theatre, and of course have seen the movie, but this particular performance seemed to clarify for me the archetypal elements of the work. Maybe this came to me in a more obvious way having just [...]
Deepak Chopra, the world renown self-help guru, has been credited with this quote: “Attachment to results disturbs equanimity, introduces anxiety and thus increases chances of failure.” Oddly enough, Dr. Chopra presents this idea from a rather materialist perspective—meaning more scientific and rational, giving an objective reason (anxiety) why attachment to results may not yield a desired [...]
As a psychotherapist I am trained to look below the surface for less than obvious motivations for human behavior. This tendency to dig deeper is typically triggered by what I see (usually seen as well by a large number of others) to be rather irrational behavior or beliefs. The dispute over gun control is one [...]
